How to Find Love

Valentine’s Day also dubbed “Singles Awareness Day” is a holiday met with many mixed feelings. Those who aren’t in a relationship regard it sort of begrudgingly and those who are in one, either play along and go down the romantic route, or dismiss its overtly materialistic and commercial nature. In any case, the topic of love comes up and we’re either in a position where we feel we have it or we don’t. And for those who are single, it becomes a glaringly obvious reminder that they are not in a romantic relationship. Unfortunately that’s conflated with some notion of lacking love in their life. And, that’s where I’m going to press the pause button.

(Photo by Mike Baird)

I don’t like being didactic or coming across as all-knowing, but I strongly feel that I have some insight on the matter of finding love. And, even if this is really just my naïveté making an appearance, I feel highly compelled to share this.

Love is not something that comes from outside of you. It’s not born anywhere else, but within you. Yes, we’ve all heard this time and again. I mean we all know that we have to, “love ourselves first.” But, this is the reality of how you find love:

First, you begin to cultivate the love within yourself.

Second, you use that love to help raise your vibrations to the point where you feel so full of love that you feel fulfilled within your being. This entails, raising your vibrations to the level of joy. Some people have a lot of work to undertake here to remove layers upon layers to get to that place, while some people are already there.

By this point, you feel so satisfied with existence as it is, that you no longer “need” a relationship. You could take one or leave one and would rather not bother if it doesn’t feel “just right”. That’s where you want to be. Because when you’re in a place where you feel fulfilled and so content with life with our without a romantic partner, you are most ripe to enter into a relationship that will flourish… not a relationship where there is co-dependency, or massive walls guarding you, or where you or the partner you’ve attracted are trying to fulfill their own needs through the other.

The latter examples occur when we want to enter a relationship from the standpoint of longing and need.

Magical things happen when you are in a place where you are so filled with joy, love and life that you feel satisfied and fulfilled. When you’ve let go of the need to attract a mate, you’ve opened up a space to attract the right person for you, rather than someone who needs you to fill their areas of insufficiency or vice versa. It might take months. Heck, it could take years! But, let me tell you the time it takes becomes less relevant as you come to know yourself and develop higher vibrations and higher satisfaction for life in that process.

So, I urge you, if you are single and longing for a mate to give it a rest, work on yourself, love yourself, work on your blockages, find fulfillment in life in your own being and let the universe take care of the rest. This is the best prescription to finding love.

© 2013, Melina Schetakis. All rights reserved.

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